Thursday, September 10, 2009

First Draft Summary

In class today we critiqued each others first draft. The main points I saw needed fixing on mine were adding a bit more about my icon, omitting some sentences to get rid of unnecessary text, establish more of a connection between my icon and OTHER people as well.

It went good today. I plan on taking out several sentences to free up some space for creativity and alterations. I feel like I need to talk more about my icon. That is about it. Stoked for tomorrows revisions.

Here is a new draft:

I began to play, cringing at the sound of each drum being hit. I didn't mind, the sound of the rusted rim and weathered head of the navy blue Sunlite, for it was better than the sound of my playing at the time. After 8 months of playing these navy blue rust buckets early 2008, my father decided it was time to make an investment in my future.
I considered my new Gretsch, Catalina Birch drum kit more my own then my body itself. The shades of the autumn burst took me to a Midwest town in November; the sap of the trees, and un-raked leaves in the front yard, seemed as if they had made their way to the fade of my drums .My eyes never left them until the night had made way with me, and even then, my sub-conscious mind was filled with nothing but dreams of my endless days to come of timeless playing. It was that day I realized I wanted nothing else of my teenage life then to make drums of my own, in hopes that one day I could re-place the smile that hung on my face as I slept, onto another aspiring musician like myself.

Today, as I sit in a different house, with different drums, different people, different dreams and aspirations for my future, one thing seizes to change. My passion for drums and the process of making a beautiful drum is a fire that can not be put out. Mike Ciprari, a once aspiring musician such as myself, set off in the I have needed no map to follow. Starting off as a drummer touring the world with a band, his brother Scott stayed home to begin working on a custom drum kit for him to take to college with him. When people saw the finished product, they wanted a piece of his artistry for themselves. Mike quit touring with his band in order to make custom drums with his brother for a great multitude of people. Such detail is put into each drum made by SJC, that it makes you feel as if you are purchasing a piece of artwork. Is it the curve of the bass drum, the shimmer of the acrylic, the perfect offset of each golden lug that ever so royally hold my drums together? Or is it the hours upon hours put into making pieces of wood, plastic and metal represent who you are. Mike makes the vision of a drum set become more real then you ever expected it to be.

The collaborative effort to find a sponsor to purchase my new drums was completed on July 22nd 2009. Ups delivered my custom kit by SJC Drums, a company that makes your dream, your vision, your imagination, become a reality much greater then you ever expected. As it was carried into the first floor music room, the same glowing smile was hung upon my face once more. Such detail is put into each drum made by SJC, that it makes you almost feel as if you are purchasing a piece of artwork. Is it the curve of the bass drum, the shimmer of the acrylic, the perfect offset of each golden lug that ever so classy hold the drums together? Or is it the hours upon hours put into making pieces of wood, plastic and metal represent who you are.

Today, the rust buckets are no longer that. They have been stripped of their parts and broken down into their original wooden shells. A new process has begun; a refurbishing of the old drum kit as my first complete custom drum project. It will be finished one day, and when people look at it, and watch me play; no one will know that this is where I started.

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